Luxury Unveiled: Tashkent's ART Residence Hotel Awaits
Luxury Unveiled: Tashkent's ART Residence Hotel Awaits – A Messy, Honest, and Totally Human Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the ART Residence Hotel in Tashkent. Forget the perfectly polished brochures, I’m here to give you the real deal, the messy, honest truth, warts and all. And trust me, after a whirlwind trip, I've got plenty to spill.
First Impressions – The Grand Entrance & The Elevator From Hell
Okay, let's be real. The entrance? Gorgeous. Think soaring ceilings, dazzling chandeliers, and enough marble to make a Roman emperor jealous. They've got that wow factor down. The staff? Super friendly, always with a smile. They practically smother you with helpfulness. But then, the elevator. Oh, the elevator. It’s a slow ride. Like, seriously slow. You could knit a whole scarf in the time it takes to ascend to your room. And sometimes, it feels like it's considering a career change and deciding to stay put. I'm not even going to mention the time it got stuck for 5 minutes. Dramatic sigh.
Accessibility – Good, But Could Be Better?
Now, I didn’t need wheelchair access, but I always pay attention to it. The good news: they do have facilities for disabled guests! The bad news? I didn’t see tons of detail on the website. The elevator situation already gives me the side-eye. Hopefully they’ve got ramps and accessible rooms sorted well. I'd recommend checking thoroughly if this is a priority.
Rooms – Plush, But Do They Have a Soul?
My room? Big. Like, sprawling. Air conditioning? Check. Free Wi-Fi? Double-check! (And it actually worked, unlike some hotels where you're practically begging for a signal to surface). Complimentary tea and a coffee maker? Yes, please! The bed? Heavenly. I practically melted into it. Bathrobes, slippers, all the trimmings. But… and this is a big "but"… it felt a little…sterile? Beautiful, yes. Luxurious, absolutely. But lacking a certain…soul. Like, they tried to make it feel homey, but it felt more like a fancy showroom than a genuine sanctuary. You know?
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – A Buffet Bonanza (and Some Surprises!)
The breakfast buffet. Oh, the breakfast buffet. Prepare. To. Feast. International cuisine, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, a salad bar that could rival a farmer’s market. It was honestly overwhelming. Eggs cooked every way imaginable, pastries to weep over, and enough coffee to keep me bouncing off the walls until lunchtime. The coffee shop was a haven for a quick espresso. The restaurants offer a la carte options. The poolside bar? Perfect for a late-afternoon cocktail with a view. The food, in general, was excellent. The western cuisine and Asian cuisine was good.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax – Spa Day, Anyone?
Okay, this is where they really shine. The spa! The SPA! I spent hours there. I’m talking body scrub, body wrap, sauna, steamroom, and a massage that practically transported me to another dimension. They have a pool with a view that is absolutely stunning. The fitness center looked top-notch (though, confession: I spent more time lounging by the pool). It’s a haven of relaxation. Just breathe and let them handle the rest. This is the main reason I'd recommend booking here.
Cleanliness and Safety – Feeling Secure
Okay, let's get serious for a sec. In the world we live in, safety is paramount. ART Residence goes above and beyond. They have hand sanitizer everywhere, staff trained in safety protocol, and professional-grade sanitizing services keeping everything spotless. They are using anti-viral cleaning products. They do have a doctor/nurse on call. They practice physical distancing of at least one meter. I felt safe, which is priceless.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things That Matter
They have everything you could possibly need. 24-hour front desk service, concierge, currency exchange, a convenience store, and even a gift shop. They offer laundry and dry cleaning. The daily housekeeping kept everything pristine. They have a car park (free of charge!). This place is built for comfort.
For the Kids – Family-Friendly, But…
They advertised as family friendly, and have babysitting service. However, i didn't see any kids facilities around.
Internet – Bless the Wi-Fi Gods!
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms, people! And it works! Seriously, I can't stress how important this is. Also, there’s Internet access – LAN, so you can plug in a laptop if that's your thing. Getting Around – Easy Peasy
Airport transfer? Tick. Taxi service? Tick. Car park? Tick. Valet Parking? Tick. I had no problems getting around.
The Imperfections – Let's Get Real
No hotel is perfect, and ART Residence has a few minor blemishes. As i mentioned before, The lift could use some work. Also, the room, while comfortable, lacked a personal touch.
The Verdict – Should You Book?
Absolutely, YES. Despite some minor quirks, the ART Residence Hotel is a fantastic option. It's luxurious, comfortable, safe, and offers an incredible array of amenities, especially the spa. The staff is genuinely friendly and helpful. It’s a place where you can truly relax and recharge.
Now for the Hook – The Offer!
Tired of the Everyday? Escape to Tashkent and Indulge in Unforgettable Luxury at the ART Residence Hotel!
For a limited time, we're offering a special package that will make your stay truly exceptional!
Book now and receive:
- Complimentary upgrade to a room with a stunning city view! (Subject to availability)
- A welcome drink at our poolside bar, the perfect way to unwind after your journey!
- A 20% discount on any spa treatment – because you deserve to be pampered!
- Free daily breakfast!
- Free Wi-Fi!
- And, for a limited time only, get a complimentary car transfer to any location within Tashkent City limits!
Don't miss out on this chance to experience the ultimate in luxury and relaxation. Book your stay at the ART Residence Hotel today! Click Here to Book! (And tell them I sent you… maybe they'll finally fix that elevator!)
- Special Note: Limited availability - book now to secure your spot!
- Don't forget to use code ARTTASHKENT during checkout!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into my slightly-manic, gloriously chaotic trip to the Art Residence Hotel in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. Forget the flawlessly curated Instagram feeds. This is the raw, unfiltered truth. Prepare for some serious whiplash.
Day 1: Arrival – Tashkent Tango (and a near-disaster)
Morning (ish): Plane lands. Ugh, airports. I swear, the air conditioning is designed to specifically drain your will to live. The flight from… well, let's just say it involved a layover in a confusing airport with a questionable duty-free selection of perfume. Anyway, the only thing worse than the flight itself was trying to navigate passport control in a language I barely speak. I swear, I think I nearly lost a kidney trying to understand what the border guard wanted. Luckily, I had my tourist visa, which cost me more than I'd like to admit… and got me through the gate.
Midday: Taxi to the Art Residence Hotel. The driver, bless his soul, spoke about three words of English but made up for it with sheer enthusiasm and a driving style that could politely be described as… spirited. We careened through Tashkent, and I was starting to feel like I was in a high-stakes action movie. Getting here was half the adventure.
- First Impressions (and a near-tearful moment): Okay, so the Art Residence…wow. It’s STUNNING. Like, seriously, the courtyard is a masterpiece. It's all intricate carvings, colorful tiles, and a general air of "I'm too cool to function in reality." Check-in was a breeze, the staff was genuinely lovely, and my room was… well, let's just say it was a vast artistic space, with exposed brick, antique furniture, and a bed that looked oh-so-comfy. The problem happened the moment I realised my luggage didn't make the flight. Panic set in. I almost cried in the lobby. I mean, this is Uzbekistan! I needed my emergency stash of chocolate! Luckily, the hotel staff, being absolute saints, promised to track it down. I spent the next hour pacing, muttering to myself, and cursing the airline under my breath.
Afternoon: Settling in (sort of). I borrowed a t-shirt from the hotel and got myself to the nearest Uzbek restaurant.
- Food Fails and Culinary Revelations: This is where things got interesting, and by interesting, I mean I accidentally ordered a whole plate of what appeared to be "mystery meat" (later learned it was some kind of delicious lamb and potatoes dish called Dymlama) and a mountain of plov (rice). It was WAY too much food for one person, and I'm pretty sure I could feel my stomach expanding with every bite. But, holy moly, the flavors! The herbs! The spices! It was a symphony of taste, even if I was already considering breaking my belt. I learned that Uzbek food is all about sharing, and a single portion could easily feed a small family.
Evening: Wandering around Tashkent. I took a stroll (or, more accurately, a slightly panicked shuffle) around the neighborhood. The city is a tapestry of old soviet buildings, modern architecture, and bustling markets. The subway system is a work of art in itself (seriously, the stations are gorgeous!), but I definitely got lost at least twice. I also learned that Uzbeks are incredibly friendly and helpful, even if my Uzbek language skills were limited to "salom" (hello) and "rahmat" (thank you). I found a tiny, hole-in-the-wall tea shop where I had the most incredible green tea. I would kill for that tea right now.
Day 2: Arts, Crafts and a Catastrophe (of sorts)
Morning: Sleeping in like a sloth. After yesterday's travel chaos, I needed it. The bed was so comfortable, I could have stayed there all day. Also, in a miraculous turn of events, my luggage arrived! My chocolate survived! Praise be!
Midday: Exploring the Chorsu Bazaar. This place is sensory overload in the best possible way. The smells of spices, the vibrant colors of the fabrics, the cacophony of the bartering. I bought enough souvenirs to fill a small suitcase (and probably enough spices to poison myself). Bargaining is an art form here. I'm pretty sure I got ripped off, but I didn't care. It was all part of the experience.
- The Loom Room Lunacy: After the bazaar, I found a tiny, unassuming workshop, completely by accident. I'm talking about a single wooden door. Inside, it was a world of ancient wooden looms. I spent hours, watching a woman weave silk. I didn't understand a word she said, but the grace with which she worked was mesmerizing, and I thought, "This is why I travel, I'm here, and I'm listening, and I am inspired'. Honestly, best day ever. I almost bought a rug, but I'm already in serious danger of becoming a textile hoarder.
- A Spicy Misadventure: While at the Bazaar I, against all better judgment, bought a bag of chili. Back at the hotel, I decided to channel my inner chef and make a simple sauce. I managed to coat my hands with chili oil. Despite washing with soap. Despite a prayer. My hands have been burning ever since. Lesson learned: Always use gloves.
Afternoon: Art Hunting (and a minor meltdown). I visited a few art galleries and museums. I found myself getting a bit overwhelmed, which happens to me quite often. I’m no art critic, but I do know what I like.
- Psychic Shopping and a Spiritual Crisis: There was a small shop tucked away near the hotel that promised to sell me spiritual items. I went and bought a turquoise bracelet. Why? I have no idea. I think it all just got a bit much.
Evening: A rooftop dinner. The hotel arranged a lovely rooftop dinner for me. Delicious food, stunning views of the city at sunset. I even managed to take a few decent pictures. The conversation was nice.
Day 3: Farewell Tashkent (and an Unanswered Prayer)
Morning: Breakfast at the hotel. Another amazing spread. I'm going to need to go on a serious diet when I get home.
Midday: A last-minute souvenir hunt. I realized I hadn't bought anything for my favorite weird Aunty. Tashkent Airport is a blur, but I made it just about on time.
Afternoon: Goodbye, Tashkent! Boarding the plane. I watched the city fade into the distance, a whirlwind of memories, flavors, and near-disasters. I left feeling exhilarated, exhausted and with a vague promise to learn a few more words of Uzbek before my next visit. And I would be back.
Evening: Landing back home. I unpacked, found that my suitcase was full of smells and spices.
This trip wasn't perfect, but it was real. It was messy, and emotional, and completely unforgettable. And that, my friends, is the best kind of travel.
Escape to Paradise: Rivergate's Happy Go House Awaits!
Luxury Unveiled: Tashkent's ART Residence Hotel... OMG (and other questions you might actually have)
So, is this place ACTUALLY fancy? Like, "stairway to heaven" fancy?
Alright, let's be real. "Luxury" gets thrown around like confetti, right? Yes, the ART Residence Hotel *tries* to be fancy. Think less "stairway to heaven," more… "really nice elevator with a vaguely unsettling painting in it." The lobby? Polished marble, definitely. But, and this is a big but, on my visit the air conditioning in the lobby was...iffy. Like, borderline sauna situation. My perfectly-coiffed hair? Not a fan. So, fancy-adjacent? Maybe. Definitely a step up from my usual motel haunts, but you know, YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary, for the uninitiated).
What's the deal with the "ART" part? Are we talking actual art, or… gift shop art?
Okay, this is where the hotel actually, genuinely, shines. The art? It's real, folks! And good real. During my stay, I swear I spent a solid hour just staring at this one sculpture – a twisted, metal thing that I *think* was supposed to be a bird. Or maybe a disgruntled toaster. Honestly, I'm still not sure. But it sparked some amazing, existential inner monologues. Some art is definitely more interesting than others . But the commitment is there and the overall vibe is definitely, you know, *elevated.* Way better than a generic landscape from the Holiday Inn. This IS worth it.
The rooms! Tell me about the rooms! Are they… clean?
Okay, the rooms are generally clean. Emphasis on *generally*. One slight (and I mean SLIGHT) issue: I *might* have discovered a rogue dust bunny the size of a small chihuahua under the bed. Don't judge me, I'm a curious person! But overall? Clean. Comfortable, surprisingly. The bed? Dreamy. I'm talking "melt into a puddle of blissful sleep" dreamy. I'm not exaggerating. I *almost* didn't want to get up. Also, the air conditioning in my room worked perfectly. Thank God.
Breakfast, the most important meal! Is it… breakfast-y?
Breakfast. Ah, breakfast. This is where things get a little… Uzbek. There was a pretty decent spread. Pastries, check. Fresh fruit, check. Something that *looked* suspiciously like cottage cheese, but I couldn't quite bring myself to try. (Call me a coward, I don't care). The coffee was...strong. Like, "could probably jump-start a car" strong. All in all, not the worst breakfast I've ever had, but don’t expect a Michelin-starred dining experience.
What about the staff? Are they friendly and helpful, or are they, like, judging my every move?
The staff? Mostly lovely. Some spoke better English than others, but they all seemed genuinely eager to help. There was a slight language barrier with one particular waiter who kept trying to sell me… wait for it… a *live* rooster. I'm not kidding. He kept gesturing wildly at me and clucking. I think this was some kind of inside joke. I honestly have no idea. But other than that, they were pleasant, helpful.
Is the location any good? Is it easy to get around to see Tashkent?
The location is decent. Not smack-dab in the middle of everything, but a short taxi ride or a decent walk from most major sights. Be prepared for some interesting driving experiences. Tashkent drivers have a...unique style. I may have clutched my pearls more than once. It's not ideal, like, right outside a metro station, but it's not a bad location either, if you're willing to, you know, navigate.
Is this hotel worth the money? Be honest!
Okay, bottom line: Is it worth it? Look, it depends on your budget and what you're looking for. It’s not the cheapest hotel ever, but it’s not going to bankrupt you (probably). If you appreciate art, like a comfortable bed, and are willing to overlook a few minor imperfections, then yeah, I'd say it's worth it. If you demand perfection, maybe… maybe not. But if you're looking for a Tashkent experience with a dash of something special, the ART Residence is definitely worth considering. Just, you know, watch out for the rogue roosters. And the dust bunnies.
What was the *best* part of your stay? Spill the tea!
Alright, here we go: The best part. Hands down, no contest? That damn sculpture I mentioned earlier. The twisted metal bird/toaster thing. I think I stared at it for hours. I mean, I got *lost* in it. I started to question, you know, everything. My life choices, the meaning of existence, the price of Uzbekistan pistachios... it was a whole *thing*. I even took a photo (badly). It was inspiring, thought-provoking and just... unique. I mean, it's art! And art, ladies and gentlemen, makes the world go round. Even if the AC is a little iffy.
Anything *bad* happen? Be brutally honest!
Okay, here's the brutally honest truth: one night, the key card to my room didn't work. At all! I was locked out. In my pajamas. In the hallway. At 2:00 AM. And let me tell you, the lobby, while beautiful, feels a little… echo-y at that hour. I had to wander around until I found someone. This was the perfect illustration of my own utter incompetence. The staff, thankfully, were very patient. It took like, a good 15 minutes to finally sort it out. My hair? Definitely not a fan.
