Malta Honeymoon: St. Julian's Romance Awaits!
Malta Honeymoon: St. Julian's Romance Awaits! - A Review (With a Side of Chaos)
Okay, buckle up lovebirds, because I'm about to unleash a review that's less perfectly polished travel blog and more… well, a slightly caffeinated, slightly sunburnt (thanks, Malta!) stream of consciousness. We're talking Malta Honeymoon: St. Julian's Romance Awaits! And let me tell you, it awaits. Does it deliver on the romance? Does it make a clumsy, pasta-sauce-on-your-wedding-dress-worthy mess? Let's find out.
First, the Basics (and the Vibes):
This place… it's a vibe. Nestled in St. Julian's, which is a bit of a whirlwind in itself. Think vibrant nightlife, beautiful bays, and enough gelato to fuel a small army. I was worried it would just be a cheesy, cookie-cutter honeymoon spot. Nope. It's got character. A little rough around the edges, a little bit "I rolled out of bed and decided to look fabulous," but definitely character.
(Accessibility)
I didn’t see everything, but I did notice the presence of Elevators. The St. Julian's itself is not like, the flattest place in the world, mind you, with a lot of hills. I need more info.
(Cleanliness & Safety - because, you know, the world)
Alright, let's talk about feeling safe. The hotel seemed really on top of it. Seriously, the Daily disinfection in common areas was hardcore. You could practically eat off the floor (though, I wouldn't recommend it, even if it's clean). They had Anti-viral cleaning products galore, and even Rooms sanitized between stays. The Hand sanitizer dispensers were everywhere. Like, everywhere. Which, honestly, made me feel much better. They totally had the Staff trained in safety protocol.
And the doctor/nurse on call is a definite plus.
Oh, the Internet (And the Lack Thereof Sometimes)
Okay, let's get real. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Yep, that's what they advertised. And it mostly worked. But there were a few moments where I swear my Instagram feed was mocking me with its loading circle. The Internet access – wireless was patchy. This is my main concern.
Internet [LAN] – I did not check the possibility of wired connection. This might be a thing for some.
Internet services – well, access is good and it works.
Wi-Fi in public areas – worked, but often overloaded when the pool was crazy crowded.
(Things to Do, Ways to Relax… and My Inner Spa Snob)
This is where things got interesting. I adore a spa. The hotel boasts a Spa. I'm in.
Pool with view – YES. The pool was gorgeous, I spent a lot of time here (mostly with a cocktail in hand, let's be honest). Sauna – Didn't try. Too busy lounging by the pool. Steamroom – Didn't try. Swimming pool [outdoor] – Gorgeous. Okay, here's the truth: the Body scrub and Body wrap sounded heavenly, but I was more interested in the Massage. The Spa/sauna combo sounds perfect. I had a massage, and honestly, it was okay. It wasn't the transcendent, melt-into-the-table kind of massage I dream of. But it was relaxing. Maybe my expectations were too high. (I'm a spa snob, what can I say?). Fitness center – Didn't touch it, though it looked well-equipped. Gym/fitness as well. Yeah, nah. Holiday, remember? Foot bath – They had one! I didn't actually try it, but it's the thought that counts, right?
(Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Fueling the Romance!)
Oh, food. My love language.
A la carte in restaurant – Fine dining. Asian breakfast - Didn’t try. Asian cuisine in restaurant – Didn't try. Bar – Good selection and great atmosphere. Definitely a spot for Happy hour. Bottle of water – Always appreciated! Breakfast [buffet] – The Breakfast service was a mixed bag. The Buffet in restaurant could get a little crazy at peak times. The choices were pretty standard. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was… well, it was coffee and tea. Coffee shop – Convenient for a quick caffeine fix. Desserts in restaurant – Yes, please! International cuisine in restaurant – Decent options. Poolside bar – A MUST. Sipping cocktails by the pool is practically mandatory. Restaurants – Several on-site. Plenty of choices. Room service [24-hour] – Perfect for a lazy evening. Salad in restaurant – Refreshing option. Snack bar – For those mid-afternoon cravings. Soup in restaurant – Didn’t try. Vegetarian restaurant – I didn't see one, but there were vegetarian options on the menu. Western breakfast – Again, the buffet’s got the basics covered. Western cuisine in restaurant - Good.
A Quick Word on the Rooms (And My Obsession with Blackout Curtains)
The room! They had Air conditioning (thank the heavens – Malta gets HOT). The Blackout curtains were key. I need sleep. A lot of it. The Complimentary tea was a nice touch. Free bottled water. A mini bar (dangerous). Wi-Fi [free] – mostly reliable. Umbrella - nice!
(Services & Conveniences - Because You’re on Honeymoon, Not Running Errands)
Air conditioning in public area – Thankfully. Audio-visual equipment for special events – Haven’t checked. Business facilities – Okay if you need them. Cash withdrawal – Convenient. Concierge – Helpful with recommendations. Contactless check-in/out – quick and easy. Convenience store – Came in handy. Currency exchange – A lifesaver. Daily housekeeping – Immaculate. Doorman – Always a nice welcome. Dry cleaning – Didn't use, but good to have. Elevator – Essential. Facilities for disabled guests – Seems good. I’d need to look into the specific details, but from what I saw, really good. Food delivery – Didn't use. Gift/souvenir shop – Good for last-minute presents. Indoor venue for special events – Didn’t use. Ironing service – Yep. Laundry service – Useful. Luggage storage – Easy peasy. Meetings – Didn’t use. On-site event hosting – Wedding? Maybe. You’ll have to ask. Smoking area – Available. Terrace – Lovely. Bicycle parking – Didn't see it, but I wasn't looking for it. Car park [free of charge] – Nice to have, although the parking itself can be a bit tight. Car park [on-site] – Great. Car power charging station - I don’t have an electric vehicle, but cool! Taxi service – Readily available. Valet parking – Nice to have.
(For the Kids - Because, Well, You Maybe Want Them Someday)
Babysitting service – Didn’t look into it. Family/child friendly - Seems good? Kids facilities – Unknown. Kids meal – Unknown.
(Getting Around - The Mobility Angle)
Airport transfer – Very convenient. Car park [on-site] – Great to have. Taxi service – Easy to find.
The Verdict (and the Clumsy Honeymoon Moment)
Malta Honeymoon: St. Julian's Romance Awaits! is a solid choice. It's not flawless. The internet could be better. But the location is fantastic, the staff is friendly, and the overall experience is enjoyable.
The Clumsy Honeymoon Moment Anecdote
I’d been walking past the hotel pool, and I stumbled. And by stumble, I mean I faceplanted right in front of the poolside bar. Yeah. Humiliating. But the staff? They didn’t laugh at me. They rushed over with a cold compress and a cheeky grin. And then, they gave me a free cocktail. They totally redeemed themselves. That’s the magic of this place – even when you make a fool of yourself, they make you feel okay.
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Honey, I Shrunk the Honeymoon (in St. Julian's!) - A Messy, Wonderful Itinerary
Alright, alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your polished, perfect travelogue. This is me, freshly hitched, possibly slightly sunburned, fueled by questionable Maltese pastries and a love (mostly) for my beloved, spilling the beans on our honeymoon in St. Julian's. Let's just say, "perfect" is overrated. Bring on the chaos!
Day 1: Arrival & "Romance" (Mostly Exhaustion)
- Morning (Chaos Reigns): Landed in Malta. Airport was a sweaty, chaotic ballet of lost luggage and bewildered pensioners. Our flight was delayed (classic), and by the time we got our rental car (a tiny, suspiciously squeaky Fiat named "Ferdinand"), I was already questioning all my life choices. Specifically, why I decided to wear a white linen dress in a Maltese heatwave.
- Afternoon (Hotel Hell & Pizza Heaven): Found our hotel (the "Seaside Serenade" – misleading, it’s more like "Seaside Somewhat-Stale") after a scenic, yet stressful, driving tour with a very, very stressed out person in the passenger seat (my new husband. bless). The room was…fine. And by fine, I mean it had a balcony overlooking the mess of the pool, but at least the AC worked. Exhaustion hit us like a ton of bricks. We napped. HARD. Then, fueled by desperate hunger and a shared love of carbs, we inhaled the pizza. It was the best pizza I'd ever tasted .
- Evening (Embracing The Mess): Stumbled out to the Spinola Bay, a picturesque harbor. We sat at a restaurant, drank far too much wine and almost got run over by someone with a scooter. After that, we went to back our hotel, and after some romance, we felt the exhaustion again.
Day 2: A Day of Two Bays: Paceville and Balluta
- Morning (The Paceville Rollercoaster): Alright, Paceville is not for the faint of heart. We took bus number 15 downtown to the heart of the party. It's a riot of neon signs, thumping bass, and people who look like they haven't slept in a week. We lasted about an hour – just enough time to watch the sunset and grab a coffee. We thought "never again"!
- Afternoon (Balluta Bay Bliss): After a stressful ride back to our hotel. We went to Balluta Bay. It was quieter than the place we visited earlier. We had a nice view from the apartment. We found a restaurant with good food.
- Evening (Hotel Hell Part 2): We got back to the hotel, and nothing was as we left it. So, we packed all our stuff and went to the reception the next day.
Day 3: The "Golden Bay" Gamble and Some Serious Regrets
- Morning (Golden Bay Gold…or Sand?): We were determined to be beach bums so, we hopped on a bus north to Golden Bay. Wow. The sand IS golden, the water is gloriously blue, and it was a postcard. Sunscreen fail number one: I missed a spot on my back and looked like a lobster. We swam, we sunbathed, all was well.
- Afternoon (The Regretful Hike): We decided to be adventurous and attempt a hike along the cliffs near Golden Bay. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Let me tell you, the Maltese sun takes no prisoners. We were woefully underprepared (no water, minimal shade, the aforementioned lobster-esque back). We stumbled back, defeated and dehydrated. Never again.
- Evening (Seafood Salvage): After an afternoon of sheer agony, we needed serious redemption. Dinner at a seafood restaurant in Spinola Bay. I had the grilled octopus – actually pretty good, a small win in my book. We sat by the water, feeling a little less like crispy critters.
- Emotional Highs and Lows (the REAL Honeymoon Stuff): That hike. That hike tested us. We bickered over stupid things (who's fault to forget the water? Mine, of course, but don't tell him I admitted it!). But then, as we watched the sunset with the sea breeze, holding hands, it was perfect. That's the messy magic of this whole thing, right?
Day 4: Sliema Stroll & Shopping (and a Tantrum)
- Morning (Sliema Shopping Spree): We decided to visit Sliema, a town next to St. Julian's. We did some shopping. We bought some gifts. Everything was going great until…
- Afternoon (The Tantrum): It was hot, my feet hurt, and I dropped my ice cream. That's when I lost it. A full-blown, adult tantrum. My husband just stood there, stunned. He didn't scream, though. He just said: "Can we go back to the hotel?".
- Evening (Quiet Comfort): Rested in the hotel room. We had a quiet dinner, and even with the tantrums, we're still in love.
Day 5: The Valletta Adventure (or, Attempted Culture)
- Morning (Valletta Bound!): Took the bus to Valletta. The city is just… breathtaking. I’m talking ancient fortifications, narrow streets, and churches with more gold than Fort Knox. We wandered around, trying to look like we knew what we were doing.
- Afternoon (The St. John's Co-Cathedral Debacle): Okay, so the St. John's Co-Cathedral is supposed to be a must-see. And it is. But let me tell you, it's CROWDED. We felt like cattle being herded through a gorgeous goldmine. We missed the art of Caravaggio. Still, it felt like we'd done something truly touristy.
- Evening (Dinner & Daydreaming): We found a small restaurant with a balcony and enjoyed a great meal.
Day 6: The Blue Lagoon Debacle (and Unexpected Joy)
- Morning (Comino Cruise of Calamity): Okay, The Blue Lagoon is stunning. Absolutely stunning. We made a boat trip . The crowds! The constant jostling for space! The overpriced drinks! We barely managed to find a small patch of blue-green ocean to swim in. I was starting to think this honeymoon would be a total disaster.
- Afternoon (Unexpected Paradise): But. BUT. We decided to wander away from the main area of the Blue Lagoon and hike. We found a hidden cove, crystal-clear water. We were all alone. We had THE best afternoon swimming and soaking up the sun. Suddenly, everything about this chaotic trip felt worth it.
- Evening (Farewell Feast): We went back to the hotel. We both packed and had some great dinner.
- Final Thoughts (Messy, but Real): This honeymoon? It hasn't been perfect. It's been hot, stressful, full of minor disasters and major meltdowns, and moments of pure, unadulterated joy. It's been messy, and imperfect, and totally us. And that's the beautiful thing. Malta, you gave us a rollercoaster of emotions, and that's something I’ll never forget. Now, time to get back home, back to the mess!
Malta Honeymoon: St. Julian's Romance Awaits! (or Maybe Not? Let's See...)
Okay, Malta for a Honeymoon? Sounding Romantic or...Tourist Trap-y?
Alright, let's be real. Malta. For a honeymoon. My initial thought? "Ooh, quaint!" Then, the internet slammed me with images of, well, tourists. Loads. But hey, we did it anyway. My wife, bless her heart, has this *thing* for Mediterranean vibes, and St. Julian's looked pretty enough in the brochures. Romantic? Yeah, potentially. Tourist trap? Definitely. You can find both, folks. It's a gamble, like everything in relationships, frankly.
The key, I think, is managing expectations. Don’t go picturing some deserted beach and a ukulele serenading you at sunset. Prepare for crowds, especially in peak season. But the real question is—am I glad we went? Keep reading…
Is St. Julian's *Actually* Romantic, Though? Like, Beyond the Postcards?
Okay, the postcards are a lie, mostly. They smooth out everything, you know? The actual romance in St. Julian's… it's more about finding the *pockets* of romance. You can't expect it to be plastered everywhere like a cheesy rom-com.
We found it, surprisingly, in the quieter streets. Little alleyways we stumbled upon after accidentally getting hopelessly lost - which, by the way, happened a LOT. Like, Google Maps was intentionally gaslighting us! There's a certain magic in that, right? Discovering a tiny, family-run restaurant off the beaten track, sharing a bottle of Maltese wine that tasted like sunshine... *that* was romantic.
Then, of course, you have Paceville… which is, let's be honest, not romantic at all. Avoid it like the plague, unless you're into neon lights and… well, you know. We accidentally wandered through one night. My wife just gave me *the look*. I knew better than to say anything.
Best Time to Visit St. Julian's for a Honeymoon? Also, Avoid Paceville at All Costs (Just Kidding, Kinda)?
Okay, time of year is crucial. We went in late September, hoping to dodge the absolute summer swelter and the full-on tourist apocalypse. Good choice, I think. The weather was still gorgeous – sunny pretty much every day – and the crowds had thinned out *slightly*. Still plenty of people, mind you, but manageable.
I'd recommend shoulder season – late Spring (May/June) or, like us, late Summer/early Autumn (September/October). You’ll get decent weather and (hopefully) pay slightly less for those ridiculously overpriced hotel rooms. Seriously, book early! Things fill up fast.
And Paceville? Ugh. Look, I'm not judging if you're into that scene. But if you're after romance? Steer clear. Unless you can somehow make a cheesy nightclub feel… romantic. More power to you, I say! Perhaps after a bottle of Maltese wine... or three.
Where Should We *Actually* Stay in St. Julian's? Location, Location, Location… and Did You Make a Mistake?
Okay, this is where things get… complicated. We stayed in a hotel that looked *amazing* in the photos online. Luxury everything, panoramic sea views, the whole shebang. In reality? Well, let's just say the "sea view" involved a very squinty-eyed look over a parking lot. A slightly disappointing start, to be honest. I’ll admit, I chose the place. I'm still hearing about it.
My advice? Do your research. Read the reviews. Look at photos that aren’t professional. Seriously, search for the unflattering ones! And then, if you can afford it, try to get a room with a balcony overlooking the water. That's the money shot. Or, better yet, an apartment overlooking the harbor. That way you can watch people come and go, or maybe just relax and not even look at the other people. Really, just don’t end up near Paceville. Or anywhere that sounds like a party zone. You are on honeymoon, remember?
What Was the BEST Part of Your Honeymoon? Like, The Memory You'll Actually Keep?
Alright, here it comes. The *best* part? It wasn't some grand, orchestrated romantic gesture. It wasn’t a perfectly planned dinner. It wasn’t even the sunset boat trip (which, by the way, was lovely, but also packed with other couples). It was… a complete and utter disaster.
We decided to rent a car for a day and explore the island. Sounded amazing, right? Freedom! Adventure! The Maltese roads, however, are… let’s just say they're an experience. Narrow, chaotic, and with a driving style that's, shall we say, *enthusiastic*. We got lost. Repeatedly. We ended up on a dirt track that was definitely *not* meant for rental cars. The car, bless its little Maltese heart, started making noises like it was about to explode.
We pulled over, utterly defeated, in the middle of nowhere. I looked at my wife, and we just started laughing. The kind of laugh that comes from sheer, unadulterated absurdity. We were stranded! In a strange country! With a car that was probably destined for the scrapheap. And it was *amazing*.
A local farmer, bless his soul, eventually rescued us. He spoke no English, we spoke very little Maltese. We communicated through gestures and laughter. He got the car up and running just to drive us to a new destination… and a new, slightly less-broken car! It was utterly perfect. Not picturesque, not perfect, just… real. That's what I'll remember. That chaotic, hilarious, slightly terrifying, completely *us* moment. That's the romance. That's what makes a honeymoon a honeymoon.
Food, Glorious Food! Any Maltese Eats Worth a Try (Besides the Pastizzi, of Course)?
Oh, the food. Malta's got some delicious stuff, even if the best spots aren't always obvious! Pastizzi, of course. You *must* get some. Those cheesy, flaky pastries are a staple. Eat them warm, and don’t judge me if you end up eating like six in a row. Seriously, they’re addictive.
Beyond that? Rabbit stew (stuffing a rabbit for your consumption? Slightly less romantic, but still tasty) is the national dish. Give it a go. Fresh seafood is everywhere. Try the Lampuki pie too (fish pie). And don’t forget to sample some Maltese wine. They’re making pretty decent stuff these days, or at least, stuff I could drink with a smile on my face.
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